<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>What I Love
</TITLE>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
<META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1458">
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Paine Ellsworth">
<META NAME="CREATED" CONTENT="20071203;7804688">
<meta name="description" content="What I Love, secret, golden secret, sexual energy, sexual energy transformation, transform physical sexual energy into mental sexual and creative energy, how to give hope, joy and happiness, how to generate endorphins, how to make endorphins, paine ellsworth.">
<meta name="keywords" content="what, i, love, you, want, secret, golden secret, secretsgolden, empower, enable, engage, sexual, energy, 
transformation, transmutation, creative, physical, mental, spiritual, sensual, change, convert, universal, law, attraction, cosmos, universe, hope, joy, happiness, endorphins, paine, ellsworth">
<style>
p {
  text-indent: 30px;
}
</style>
</HEAD>
<!-- "BGCOLOR=#eee7cb" -->
<!-- <BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" BGPROPERTIES="fixed" onload="runSlideShow()"> -->
<BODY background="breathe.jpg" BGCOLOR="#e7e0c4" BGPROPERTIES="fixed" onload="runSlideShow()">
<br>
<center><img src="DaretoBeRare2.png" width=150 height=126></center><br>
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='18' width='635' border='1' bordercolor='blue' align='center' bgcolor='#fff8dc'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
<span style='font-size:15.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>
<center><b>WHAT I LOVE</b></center>
<center>(not in any particular order)</center><br>
<Li><b><i>Wikipedia</i></b> (the encyclopedia) and <b>Wikipedia</b> (the project)</Li>
<p><A href=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page target="_blank">Get to know it better<i>!</i></A></p>
<p><A href=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Paine_Ellsworth target="_blank">My user page</A></p>
<Li><A href=https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/ target="_blank"><b>Meditation</b></A></Li>
<p>specially <A href=https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/wiki/faq#wiki_how_do_i_begin.3F target="_blank">
breathing focus</A> and <A href=http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html target="_blank">Metta (loving kindness)</A></p>
<Li><A href=https://www.reddit.com/ target="_blank"><b>Reddit</b></A></Li>
<p><A href=https://www.reddit.com/user/Painius/ target="_blank">My user page</A></p>
<Li>Not keeping <A href=http://secretsgolden.com/ target="_blank"><b>golden secrets</b></A></Li><br><br>
<center>more to come<i>!</i></center>
<br><br>
<center><img src="Roses.jpg" width=50 height=80></center><br>
<center><span style='font-size:9.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>&copy; 2017–19 Paine Ellsworth</span></center>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE>
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='15' width='700' border='0' bordercolor='#000000' align='center'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
       <center><span style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:#000000'><b>"Every now and then a man's mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions."<br>Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.</b></span></center>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE><!--
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='18' width='635' border='6' bordercolor='blue' align='center' bgcolor='#ffffff'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
<center><span style='font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'><b>Washington DC, 1973</b></span></center><br>
<span style='font-size:15.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>

In June of 1973, I left my home in Tampa, Florida, to go to DC and join the US Peace Corps 
in Ethiopia, East Africa.  This story actually begins a few weeks earlier, when I had met 
one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen – I'll call her "Bess" (not her real name).
<br><br>
It's not like I was inexperienced.  I'd been married and divorced and had been privileged 
to have known several wonderful and beautiful women – before, during and after my 1971 tour 
in Vietnam.  After an intense, whirlwind relationship, I still intended to meet my commitment 
to the Peace Corps, so Bess and I drove to Maryland 
and stayed with one of her relatives.  There really is no way to describe to you how deeply 
involved we had become.  Yet I had been planning to go to Africa for months and had set my 
mind to it.
<br><br>
I flew to Ethiopia and became a "trainee", which is a step below a full-fledged "volunteer".  
Three weeks into my training I decided that I was in love with Bess and had to be with 
her.  When asked by the Peace Corps why I was leaving, I simply said, "I'm going home for 
personal reasons."
<br><br>
By Autumn of '73, Bess and I had gone our separate ways, and after a brief dark period  
I was brought back to my senses by none other than my mother, who was herself coping 
with the recent death of my father. I then tried to rejoin the Peace Corps and to return to 
Africa.  The Desk Officer for Ethiopia in DC, Ed Marcus, told me that there had never been 
a volunteer, let alone a mere trainee, who was allowed back into the same country after terminating 
early.  <i>Never</i>.  Ed was, however, able to give me three other choices... I could go to Iran, Jamaica or the Philippines.
<br><br>
Marcus had given me three other country options, and no matter how determined I was to go back 
to Ethiopia, he was adamant that I could not return there, nor work in any other country 
in Africa.  I had pretty much decided to go to the Philippines. Can you imagine my surprise when I received a phone call 
from Ed, who told me that the Peace Corps Director in Ethiopia, Dr. Jack Mills, had come to 
Washington for a meeting the next day.  Mills would be returning to Ethiopia the next evening 
after the meeting.  Ed told me that if I really wanted to go back to Ethiopia, I had to 
get to Washington as quickly as possible.  He said he might be able to get me in to see Dr. 
Mills for a few minutes, but there were no guarantees.
<br><br>
I hopped on the earliest plane and landed in Washington at about 6:00 p.m., too late to 
get in to see Dr. Mills that evening.  So I walked around the city and found myself sitting on a park 
bench between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument.  I was just sitting there, 
scratching my head.  I knew exactly what I wanted – to go back to Ethiopia.  But I had no 
idea what I was going to say to Dr. Mills.  How would I convince this man to let me go 
back and work in Africa?
<br><br>
Then, as I sat there relaxed yet completely confused, one word entered my head with the 
force of an H bomb.  There among the monuments to our forefathers, this one word began to 
pound and pound in my brain!  It was a common word, very common.  It had entered my head 
before, but never with this much strength and power.  It was as if the forefathers were 
ghosts in my head and yelling out the word, like they were trying to provide me with the 
one thing that I could say to Dr. Mills that had any chance of convincing him.  That one 
word banging away in my mind was "truth".
<br><br>
Tell him the truth – that's all I had to do.  In my mind, I could picture Dr. Mills and 
myself alone in his office the next day.  I could actually hear him ask me why I had left 
the previous year.  What on Earth were the "personal reasons" that had kept me from 
staying in Ethiopia?  There was no mistaking the absolute certainty and clarity I felt.  I knew beyond 
any shadow of doubt that I would convince Jack Mills to let me return to Ethiopia!  In a fraction 
of a second I had gone from confused and worried to certain and confident.
<br><br>
The next morning found me in the Peace Corps office, sitting next to Ed Marcus' desk.  Dr. 
Mills was still in his meeting, so I waited.  All of a sudden, Mills came crashing 
through the door.  Obviously disappointed and very angry, he disappeared into his 
temporary private office and slammed the door.  It was evident that things had not gone well 
at his meeting.  Ed gave me a glance that pretty much meant, 'Sorry I wasted your time.'  I 
urged him to knock on Mills' door.  He went into Mills' office to ask if I could see him for 
a few minutes.  When he walked back out, he told me, "Dr. Mills will give you five minutes 
and not one minute more."
<br><br>
I walked into Mills' office, thanked him for seeing me and sat down.  His first question was just as I had heard in 
my head the evening before.  "I have your file here, and all it says is that you left your 
training last year for 'personal reasons'.  I just need to know exactly what your 'personal 
reasons' were that made you terminate early last year.  Why did you leave?"  At the bottom 
of my answer, at the very heart of it, was the truth.
<br>
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='18' width='560' border='0' bordercolor='#000000' align='center' bgcolor='#fff8dc'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
<span style='font-size:15.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>
I told him about Bess, and how my love for her was the reason I had terminated early.  I 
told him about my mother and how she had hidden her depression from me after my father died 
in early '73.  And I mentioned to Mills that it had been my mother who had helped me out of 
my own dark days after Bess and I broke up.  And I told Mills how helping me had also 
somehow helped my mother out of her own depression.  While I had left Africa and the Peace Corps in 
'73 for "all the wrong reasons", as it turned out, my return had given my mother enough 
reason to bounce back herself and to overcome her own depression by turning her focus toward helping me.
<br><br>
Who knows what would have happened to my mother if I had not returned home in '73?  It took 
a bit more than five minutes to answer Dr. Mills' question, but he kept listening.  After I 
had finished, with a low, determined voice he said to me, "If I let you go back to 
Ethiopia, you have to promise me that you will not terminate early again.  I have to know 
that you will stick to your commitment."  I looked him directly in the eyes and promised him 
that I would not terminate early.  <i>Then he told me that I could return to Ethiopia!</i>
<br><br>
<center><img src="Roses.jpg" width=50 height=80></center>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE>
After about twenty minutes, I walked out of Mills' office and told Ed Marcus what he had said.  Ed exclaimed, "No way!  
Dr. Mills just a little while ago told me that there was no way he would let you go back.  No way!"  
I just beamed and said, "Go ask him yourself if you don't believe me."  Marcus actually did 
go and ask Mills, and when he came back, shaking his head in disbelief, only then did he 
let me in on why I had done the <i>impossible</i>.  
<br><br>
"Did Dr. Mills tell you why he's 
here in Washington?"  I shook my head, no.  "He's here for the express purpose of getting the Peace Corps 
pulled out of Ethiopia!  The emperor Haile Selassie has been arrested and jailed, and there 
is so much violence!  Jack's worried that his volunteers and staff might get hurt.  But in 
this morning's meeting with the bosses, they turned him down, they would not let him pull out.  
It's just unbelievable that after all that, he would let you go back to Africa.  Unbelievable!  
What did you say to him?"
<br><br>
I just smiled.  I had convinced a man who had a reputation for seldom if ever changing his mind.  
All I had done was to answer his question and tell him the truth.  I had responded with the 
ideas that had come to my mind the previous evening after the word "truth" had exploded inside my 
head.
<br><br>
Yet, where I had left off and could do no more, some power beyond my knowledge seemed to take 
over and turn around what had been impossible and make it feasible and doable.  Yes, I didn't 
just lie around and wait for things to happen – that's just not how it works.  It's not the 
least bit difficult.  You just have do all that you yourself can do and then you must <i>fully 
expect to somehow get what you want!</i>
<br>
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='18' width='560' border='0' bordercolor='#000000' align='center' bgcolor='#fff8dc'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
<span style='font-size:15.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>
Again, I truly hope that you have been able to imagine, to see exactly what I did to get what I want.  
I won't go into any deep analysis, yet in my own humble mind I can pick out the essential 
steps you take to get more, to get what you want.
<br><br>
<Li>First, and this is a subtle and yet important step, you have to put it to words, you have to <b><i>know exactly</i> what you want</b>.  
You must be able to make a clear picture in your mind of whatever it is you desire, need, want.</Li>
<Li>Next, you <b>do whatever you can</b>, whatever is in your power, to get what you want.  Be ready 
and alert.  Be willing to drop everything when an opportunity arises.  Go and be where you have 
to be.</Li>
<Li><b>Take your time</b> to be confused and concerned about the outcome. Take a few deep breaths and <b>relax</b> while 
you go over every detail in your mind – what you want, what you've done recently to try and get 
what you want – every detail.</Li>
<Li><b>Keep asking yourself</b>, 'How will I get what I want?  What do I have to do?  Who must I go see?  
What will I say?'  As you do this, you will probably think of different questions than I asked 
myself.  <i>Don't worry</i> – concern is not worry, and it's okay and normal for you to be 
concerned – and until the answers come to you, you might feel confused, and yet you will figure out 
what questions you need to ask yourself.</Li>
<Li><b><i>Expect it to happen</i></b>.  You might not know how it will happen, yet you must fully expect it to 
happen.  You have already worked very hard to get what you want.  So keep the clear picture in 
your mind of exactly what it is that you want.</Li>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE>
That is how it works for me, and that is how it will work for you, too.  I want you to get <i>more</i>, to get what you want, so let me tell you that something else that benefits me is meditation. <A href=https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/wiki/faq target="_blank">This web page</A> can be very helpful to you for learning and using meditation and mindfulness as tools to unlock your potential<i>!</i> Just imagine the possibilities<i>!</i> Best of everything to all who read this.
<br>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE><br>
<TABLE cellSpacing='0' cellPadding='18' width='635' border='6' bordercolor='blue' align='center' bgcolor='#ffffff'>
  <TR>
    <TD>
<center><span style='font-size:15.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>
What do you think about that?<br>
And feel free to tell me how it's going for you<i>!</i><br>
Always a pleasure,<br>
Paine Ellsworth<br>
SecretsGolden<br>
PO Box 152073<br>
Tampa, FL 33684-2073
<br><br>
starswirler at aol dot com
<br>
</span></center><br>
<center><span style='font-size:9.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial";color:black'>&copy; 2017–19 Paine Ellsworth</span></center>
   </TD>
  </TR>
</TABLE>--><br>
<!--
=============================================================
Script:     Floating Transparent Slide Show
Functions:  Displays a floating layer that moves with the
            page, in which is contained an image slide show.
            If transparent .gif images are used, the slide
            show will be transparent over the page.  Image
            fade transitions are also included for IE.
Browsers:   NS4-7, IE all
Author:     etLux
Directions: Insert the entire block of code below just before
            the page </body> tag.  See the instructions in
            the script for additional setup information.
=============================================================
-->
<!-- BEGIN FLOATING SLIDE SHOW CODE //-->

<!-- Edit the HTML: Set first image path and size //-->
<div id="FloatSlideShow" style="position:absolute;z-index:1000000">
<a href="file:///C:/Users/Scotty.Bizzie-Too/Documents/SecretsGolden%202015/" target=_new>
<img border=0 src="DaretoBeRare2.gif" name='SlideShow' width=150 height=126></a>
</div>
<!-- End of editable HTML //-->

<script>

/* Floating Slide Show Script C.2004 by CodeLifter.com */

// You *must* add onload="runSlideShow()" to the <body> tag
// of the page.

// In the section marked Edit the HTML, above, remember to
// set the path and size for the first image.

// =======================================
// Set the following variables
// =======================================

// Set slideShowSpeed (milliseconds):
var slideShowSpeed = 6000

// Duration of crossfade (seconds) for IE:
var crossFadeDuration = 1

// Set the positioning variables, below:
// Negative numbers are relative to right (whereX) or bottom (whereY)
// Positive numbers are relative to left (whereX) or (whereY) top
// Experiment with values to get positioning exact, and allow
// for the dimensions of the image in the positioning

var whereX = 20;
var whereY = 20;

// Specify the image files:
var Pic = new Array() // don't touch this!
// to add more images, just continue
// the pattern, adding to the array below

Pic[0] = 'globeani.gif'
Pic[1] = 'globeani.gif'
Pic[2] = 'globeani.gif'
Pic[3] = 'globeani.gif'
Pic[4] = 'DaretoBeRare3.png'
Pic[5] = 'DaretoBeRare3.png'
Pic[6] = 'handsani.gif'
Pic[7] = 'handsani.gif'
Pic[8] = 'shipnwaveani.gif'
Pic[9] = 'shipnwaveani.gif'
//Pic[4] = 'Washington-DC-hero-AB-dil.png'
//Pic[5] = '103px-Light_bulb_icon_svg.png'
//Pic[6] = 'Washington-DC-hero-AB.jpg'
//Pic[7] = 'Washington-DC-hero-AB.jpg'
//Pic[8] = 'DaretoBeRare3.png'
//Pic[9] = 'DaretoBeRare2.png'

// =======================================
// Do not edit *anything* below this line!
// =======================================

var nn=(navigator.appName.indexOf("Netscape")!=-1);
var t;var j=0;var p=Pic.length;var preLoad=new Array();
for (i=0;i<p;i++){preLoad[i]=new Image();preLoad[i].src = Pic[i];}
function runSlideShow(){
if (document.all){
document.images.SlideShow.style.filter="blendTrans(duration=2)";
document.images.SlideShow.style.filter="blendTrans(duration=crossFadeDuration)";
document.images.SlideShow.filters.blendTrans.Apply();}
if (document.all || document.getElementById){document.images.SlideShow.src = preLoad[j].src;}else{
document.FloatSlideShow.document.images["SlideShow"].src = preLoad[j].src;}
if (document.all){document.images.SlideShow.filters.blendTrans.Play();}
j=j+1;if (j>(p-1))j=0;t=setTimeout('runSlideShow()', slideShowSpeed);}
var dD=document,dH=dD.html,dB=dD.body,px=dD.layers?'':'px';
function floatSS(iX,iY,id){
var L=dD.getElementById?dD.getElementById(id):dD.all?dD.all[id]:dD.layers[id];		
this[id+'O']=L;if(dD.layers)L.style=L;L.nX=L.iX=iX;L.nY=L.iY=iY;
L.P=function(x,y){this.style.left=x+px;this.style.top=y+px;};L.Fss=function(){var pX, pY;	
pX=(this.iX >=0)?0:nn?innerWidth:nn&&dH.clientWidth?dH.clientWidth:dB.clientWidth;	
pY=nn?pageYOffset:nn&&dH.scrollTop?dH.scrollTop:dB.scrollTop;	
if(this.iY<0)pY+=nn?innerHeight:nn&&dH.clientHeight?dH.clientHeight:dB.clientHeight;	
this.nX+=.1*(pX+this.iX-this.nX);this.nY+=.1*(pY+this.iY-this.nY);this.P(this.nX,this.nY);
setTimeout(this.id+'O.Fss()',33);};return L;}
floatSS(whereX,whereY,'FloatSlideShow').Fss();
</script>

<!-- END FLOATING SLIDE SHOW CODE //



============================================================-->

</BODY>
</HTML>